Hello lovely ladies! It is almost Mother's Day and I am so excited. I love being a mom, more than I ever imagined I could. My own mom holds such a special place in my heart so this is one holiday that I love celebrating! I hope that all of you mothers have a beautiful day, and remember how blessed we are to be caretakers to these precious little ones. And for those of you who aren't yet mothers I hope you remember how special you are to be a daughter of the King! : )
I was hoping to present a dilemma to you all and get an unbiased opinion from you...
I was raised by my mother and stepfather. My "dad" left when I was in kindergarten and besides a brief two week stay when I was in middle school I have probably only seen him three other times in all these years. Literally I mean my sister and I have probably spend more time with the tellers at the grocery store we frequent than we have him. (BTW He lives in Portland, OR.) A few weeks ago he called my big sis to say....guess what I am flying to Atlanta at the end of May and want to meet my grandchildren. Can we make that happen?
Here is my problem with all of this. #1 Although he claims to be an "ordained minister" (did you know you could get ordained online? LOL!) He is not the type of person we would normally have around any of our children. He drinks, smokes, talks vulgar, and is all around just different from the normal company we keep. #2 Neither my children and definitely not my sister's children have ever been exposed to divorce. In the sense that daddies sometimes just walk away and never look back ( or at least don't look back for 20 years or so!).....How do you explain that to a toddler? #3 I have a dad....I know that sounds callous....but I have someone who raised me, who taught me right from wrong, who listened to me cry and laughed with me, who paid for me to go to college and didn't say a word when I walked away from it, who walked me down the aisle and still helps my husband and I on a regular basis. PLUS He is my children's grandfather, the one who was there when they were born and loves them as unconditionally as if they were blood.
Sorry, I am beginning to ramble my point is this.....as a Christian will I be wrong if I refuse to see this person? I know that the Bible says to honor our parents.....and I am not disputing that....its just that I feel this sporadic trip is more of a fishing expedition because he has run out of people to sponge off of in OR. I am not angry at him for leaving...actually I am thankful....my life would have been so different had I been raised in a divided (unequally yoked) home. I just don't feel like he needs to be a part of mine or my children's lives. Does anyone have an opinion on what the Christian thing to do here is?
Friday, May 8, 2009
Desicions....
Posted by Heather at 12:06 AM
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3 comments:
Bobbys dad left him as well. I am amazed at the forgiveness Bobby shows to him. His dad still drinks some, and is also lost, but we don't have a problem letting them have a relationship with the children. I have never been through this kinda thing but my dad does things as well that I don't agree with but he is still my dad, and their gradfather. I don't have to let my babies be alone with them or see them without me around, but mabe the Lord could use you to show your dad Jesus. Thats what we hope with our family. With him living so far away he is more than likely not going to be around enough to make a dramatic impact on the girls. One day they will face all these things of the world and it is better to have you beside them explaining it to them and showing them the correct ways, the biblical ways. The biggest thing is it may be the hardest on you. Just remember the Lord puts other people in your life in place of those who fail you. My entire family is lost and sometimes I feel I have no family, but when I look harder I have a saved wonderful husband, 2 beautiful girls, friends that are my family, women like Joan, and Jan, that give me wisdom on the decisions I make. I would suggest that you pray and seek the Lord and he will guide you on this decision. Love u and praying for you!
I will be praying for you and that God will give you Wisdom in which ever way you decide to go with your natural dad. Only God can give you and Billy the direction to go with on this situation, and noone can make that decision for you on what is right for you and for your family. What is right for one person and family is not necessarily right for another person and their family.
Get in the Bible with Billy and you guys read and study and agonize with God on what He would have you to do that would honor HIM. And He will give you the answers you need for you and your family. Just know that we are praying for you and trusting God to show you what you need to do.
I just saw your blog on another one that I read and I think that maybe you could meet up with your biological dad and see how that goes and make a decision from there as to whether or not you want him to meet your kids. This is a very tough decision but you need to listen to your heart and hopefully he has changed but you need to see that for yourself. Good Luck and I will pray for you.
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